Art festival in the forest! A magical week full of artists arriving and displaying their wares and their work. Restaurants come to us on a daily rotation. There are performances and impromptu encounters. Workshops, crafts for sale, art on display. It’s very cool.
But from my point of view, its been a lonely four days. That’s all on me due to a number of factors. I need to write these down so I can think them through and remember for next time. This might not be a blog post you want to read.
Factor #1: What I Am Offering
I am not displaying my finished artwork (except for the ART installation); I’m offering hands-on art experiences with the Art Briefcase. That means I need to be ready when people come up, so I have to stick close to my booth.
Being in my booth all the time isolates me from participating in the other things going on at the festival like music and pop-up surprises. I’ve walked around a little bit to admire the art and other booths, but I am not spending time sitting in the Art Garden chatting with people and making friends.
How to Fix: Add some artworks for people to look at so I can get up and move around without as much concern.
Factor #2: Where I Located My Booth
I set up the tent on a shady, sloped corner where it can be seen by people coming out of the Art Garden building and anyone making the trip up the hill to Miyashita-san’s atelier. I am separated by a road from the next closest artist. There’s no casual conversation except for shouted greetings.
The arrangement in the booth is unconventional. I created plenty of room to sit on the ground to teach people finger loop braiding or drawing meditation. Most visitors come over to have a look, then walk on promising to come back. The booth is not an impressive space. It’s cluttered with materials and samples.
How to Fix: Move the booth? I won’t be doing that. But I will choose differently next time and I will adjust the setup to make it more welcoming. Everyone loved the table and stools last year. The slope makes that impossible, but maybe some cushions?
Factor #3: Who I Am
This part might sound like a laundry list of self-hate, but it’s not. However, it is a good indication of why I ought to deeply consider participating in events:
- I am introverted and not social by nature. This is the main basis of my loneliness and always has been. A day is fine – I can hype myself up for that. But a week is hard to keep the extroversion steady. Before long, I need to retreat to a quiet space (so maybe the booth location is the perfect choice).
- Communication in Japanese is a struggle and exhausting. I recognise lots of improvement over last year, but my ability fails when I need it. I garble grammar, forget vocabulary, fall back on the same words over and over. It’s frustrating for both parties in the conversation, so I don’t start conversations.
- On the national scene, foreigners are a problem. I can’t help wondering which people around me are anti-foreigner. This takes up a lot of my mental space. It’s stressful. I avoid adding to the negativity by keeping to myself, though I realise that creates a bad impression in a different way.
- Imposter syndrome is hitting hard. As much as I know “comparison is the thief of joy” it is hard not to compare my work to the other artists’s contributions to the festival. They all seem to have attributes of art that I do not: specialisation and skill. I question whether I am an artist at all.
How to Fix: Be a different person. Ha! The best I can do here is to make sure I am supporting myself with sufficient rest, food, and mental health. I will remember that you miss 100% of hits you don’t take, so it’s better to try than to avoid.
Factor #4: Low Weekday Attendance
The one factor that isn’t about me or my choices is a lack of audience. Over the past four days, only 5 people have participated in my activities. This isn’t surprising, because who comes to a mountain in Kamogawa on a weekday? And of those few, how many want to spend time doing a workshop? Five, I guess! This leaves me with many hours a day to myself.
How to Fix: I’ve been told it will get busier at the weekend. Will that be better? I’m not sure (see factors 1-3 above).
What Next?
I have another four days at the festival. Yesterday, I did a “live art” project and added weaving to my tent. Instead of setting up with the workshops, I built a loom from branches, fixed it to the tent frame, made fabric strips from old kimono, then wove. Did anyone notice? I don’t think so. But it was fun to do all the problem solving of weaving without my usual tools and materials.
I’ll display some of my small weavings alongside the new one. The tent weaving also creates a connection to my ART installation nearby. I worked on the tent from 10 – 3 and forgot to take a picture before I left for the Kamogawa fireworks.
I am releasing the Art Briefcase concept. The briefcase comes home with me today. It’s not right for this venue. I’ll bring back the encouraging signs about art meditation that I used last year.
And I am simplifying the workshops. Story Cards is out. It is perhaps my favorite, but too complicated to explain. Today and tomorrow I’ll have loop braiding and art meditation with my display of weaving. Aura portraits might make a comeback on the weekend.
While I cannot change myself, or people’s perception of foreigners, or my language skills in the next four days, writing this blog post has eased my mind. I have a better sense of how to enjoy the rest of the event with less loneliness.
