I have a long and complicated history with my sexuality. I’ve tried it all; I’ve had mixed feelings about most of it. Knowing what I know now about neurodiversity and my personal spicy blend of mental traits, that makes perfect sense. But allowing myself a label is relatively recent self-identity that I shared when I came out in 2023 by designing a Q flag and in greater depth in 2024.

So it’s not much of a surprise that I never felt “queer enough” to attend Pride events. I am not that strongly attached to the queer identity, partly through rejection by incontestably gay and lesbian friends in the decades before we understood spectrums of experience.

So last week, when Tod & I got an invitation from our friend Will to join him and the Morgan Stanley team at Tokyo Pride, we agreed to go into town for the day and see how it was.

It was worthwhile. The venue at Yoyogi was packed with people (about 270,000 across two days). The mostly corporate booths – media/content, tech, finance, cosmetics, hotels – were so busy with diversity-friendly activities that we simply strolled and took in the scene.

Drag queens offerer photos, a contingent of Mr Gay Japan finalists made the rounds, some gorgeously put together outfits grabbed attention, but mostly there were booth groups wearing versions of rainbow t-shirts along with the thousands of folks enjoying the festival. It was very people-y and tipping beyond the edge of my comfort zone.

Participating in the parade was great. The organisers reported 15,000 people marched. I was happy to be one of them. I put on my performer’s persona and engaged with the crowds.

I also enjoyed talking with Tod’s former colleagues while waving my cardboard flag/fan as we walked the hour-long circuit through Harajuku and Shibuya. The route was guarded by city police who looked alternately vigilant and bored.

The best part of the parade and the day generally was little interactions with people. Over and over, I wished “Happy Pride” to onlookers waving flags and stuffed toys and blowing bubbles at the parade. And there were two moments that really stood out.

A middle aged Japanese man waved mildly at the paraders. He seemed shy but he stood right on the edge of the curb. I complimented his shirt (gorgeous painterly film negatives); he told me it was his original artwork. I had to walk on before I could find out who he was. Now I am kicking myself – how can I find his work?

Then I almost lost my parade group when a colorful flag caught my eye. Pink, purple, red and black with triangles and stripes. Very pretty. Unfamiliar. I paused to ask the young woman holding it what it represented. “Queers for Palestine.” She made it herself. After a quick chant of “Free Palestine!” I ran to catch up with my group before I got kicked out of the parade. There are rules for marching in Tokyo, whether in protest or in joy.

My first Pride was a fine one. Seeing so many LGBTQIA+ people together was delightful and affirming. Not quite my tribe or my culture, but part of my identity. I am queer enough.