Up ’til now, the Covid-19 pandemic has stressed me out mostly with data and graphs (damned lies and statistics) that can’t possibly be true because of under-testing, under-reporting, and the chaos of collecting data in-the-moment.
I’ve been self-isolating for the sake of other people and the medical system’s capacity to treat its patients.
For my own self , I wasn’t worried. I’ve had pneumonia before. It was terribly unpleasant but survivable. I felt like I know what to expect and although it isn’t something I want to experience again, I’d manage.*
But today I read an article in the Washington Post that makes me want to stay in hiding in order to not catch this virus. Not only can it cause pneumonia that suddenly worsens and kills, but it seems to be attacking other organs and bodily systems, too. The article explains incidences of kidney failure, heart damage, gastrointestinal issues, liver failure, conjunctivitis, loss of taste and smell, blood clots, and a cytokine storm of immune system.
After freaking out a bit, I remembered that I’m not afraid to die. We all die. That’s just normal. And you don’t get to choose your natural or accidental death.
But maybe I am sort of afraid of dying in a hospital hallway, surrounded by medical professionals wearing masks and PPE. That seems worth staying home to avoid. Two more years til there’s a vaccine…
* I know this is a fallacy. My past experience doesn’t predict the future, even before reading scary articles..