This year I learned a lot about Japan’s death procedures when I wrote The International Resident’s Ending Note and its Family Guide. One thing that really stuck with me is that I am not aligned with the law when it comes to inheritance.

Inheritance laws in Japan mandate the division of property: 50% to a surviving spouse and 50% divided among your children. Your debts are inherited as well as your assets. Inheritance taxes are pretty stiff. This law is the basis of much family drama and a reason why there are unclaimed properties all over the country.

The law applies to Tod & I, but we each want to leave 100% to the other and then when we are both done, share whatever remains with family. So we initiated a Big Adulting and had a notarial will prepared. Now everything is arranged the way we want it.

I was delighted to work with an old friend from my hooping days in Tokyo. Ayumi Mitake is not only a performer, but also an administrative scrivener with her own business, Mitake Gyosei.

The process took a few months due to our delays. We had numerous questions, had to dig up some missing details, and needed to unravel some paperwork tangles. But we finally got there.

Yesterday, we went to the notary office in Tateyama with Ayumi and our two witnesses, Naomi and Junko, to sign and file the will.

It could have been sad, but it was sort of fun. We had sushi lunch with Ayumi and Naomi before the signing and got bananas at the speciality shop next door. There’s no room for morbid thoughts when you have a banana.

Plus it was a day of firsts for everyone. This was Ayumi’s first will; obviously mine, too. Naomi and Junko had never witnessed before. And even the Omiya-san, the notary, had a first – the government’s digital signing system that was implemented last month. We were all cheerful with the novelty of it, even though will signing is serious and somber.

And, like a wedding, there were glitches to break any lingering solemnity.

Before the will was read aloud start-to-end, I had to state my beneficiaries. I forgot which order Tod’s name was written. Last name first? First name first? So I said all options in katakana and in regular English for good measure. Smiles and giggles all around, but I wonder if any of the Japanese people present twigged to that weird little complication of foreignness in Japan.

Tod’s glitch was with the digital signing system. He said it took him five tries to get it right. The pen’s “erase” button was right where you’d normally rest your thumb and system had a long lag between pen movement and the stroke appearing; on my will, everyone’s signatures like they were written by children. Large & loopy kanji.

Glitches were surmounted quickly and it was over within an hour. The wills were officially registered online. We received paper copies and instructions for what to do if we need to make changes.

My emotion afterward was nuanced. I felt delight that I had navigated something new. Pride at finishing the Big Adulting. Gratitude for my friends taking time to be our witnesses. Relief that our inheritance is organised the way we want. Sadness at facing my mortality again. Happiness at reconnecting with Ayumi.

It all added up to relief at having this task out of the way. Everything’s going to be okay.