Peace is a hard choice. It’s not flowers, dreamy moods, and bohemian fashion choices. It’s patching broken things together. Peace beings the satori that we seek – the way into heaven. Peace needs deep introspection and letting go of fear, and ego. It’s hard work, whether it is personal peace or world peace.
War is an easy choice. It’s human nature to hunt and kill. We are predators who cause pain. Anyone who says “this hurts me more than it hurts you,” is probably lying. This is true for personal wars and for national ones. It’s a cinch to rile up the populace to support whatever excuse fits the moment.
Polar opposites
Peace embraces acceptance. It is fueled by understanding that “we are all one” underneath the labels we place on ourselves and one another.
War embraces division. It’s us against them to the death, literally. Our labels are what set us apart and make us better than them.
Peace sees with grand perspective. Big ideas like “we are made of star-stuff.” The world’s a big blue marble. The universe is in balance in the long run.
War sees what it wants to see. In war’s view, the other side is villainous. War’s side is perfectly right and the enemy is everything we are against. The world is in imbalance.
Peace hopes for equity and happiness. Its message highlights similarities and promotes acceptance. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Live and let live.
War hopes for triumph. Its message is whatever supports its just cause and stokes people’s fear into a righteous fire of hatred. There can be only one. My way or the highway.
Give peace a hand
When it comes to ending conflict, war and peace need help.
Peace needs assistance to tease out the thread of commonality and to weave it into the fabric of accord.
War needs assistance to gain perspective and balance.
The helpers are third parties who don’t have a stake in the game. At this juncture in our current events, it seems there aren’t many who can bring peace and balance to the political divides, the religious wars, lust for resources, personal power plays, and furious scandals that we all suffer under.
Are you the helper?
While I feel that fundamentally we each must help create peace in the conflicts in our life, it’s not easy and sometimes seems impossible. Helping to bring peace is a full time job – there are university degrees in negotiation and conflict resolution. Peacemaking requires lots of strategy and ways of approaching things.
I want to suggest that you find conflicts in your sphere that are ready for resolution. Problems that everyone agrees need to end. Maybe it’s a personal beef between neighbors and the HOA. Maybe it’s someone who feels they were treated badly by a friend.
In an ideal world, you would bring the parties together. Help them share perspectives, look for the threads of commonality, find the balance between needs. Guide the parties to a resolution that everyone can be okay with.
But then I recall two or three conflicts in my own world. I would love for all the parties in these problems to be peaceful and friendly but at this point months and years have passed since the initial conflicts, and everyone ignores one another.
In each case, one side feels right, the other feels wronged and both feel justified in their positions. One completely distrusts the other. One feels shame. One side blocked the other on Facebook. Mutual friends know not to invite them to the same events. It’s an uneasy existence through avoidance.
My world would certainly be better if these several personal wars were resolved. That means I am not the neutral third party that’s needed for peace.
So yeah, you might not be the helper. Proceed with caution.
