Q is for…

Q has long been my favorite letter. When I was learning to write, I loved Q for its circle and line and how you could dress it up by making the line wavy. The cursive uppercase Q with its double looped numeric shape was fun to write, even though it made no sense and seemed to have no connection to its printed counterpart. Lowercase q in print and script were both confusing, though. They twisted my head with their similarity to p and g.

When Judy Bloom’s Ramona books came out and the “Q cat” was introduced, I drew a lot of Q cats in the margins of my notebooks.

And then I married and got a Q in my very own name. Cool! I initial things “KMcQ” every time so that I can write the Q.

In June, Q takes on extra significance thanks to Pride month. The Q in LGBTQ+ has two meanings: Queer and Questioning.

When I was growing up – in that place, time, and community – it was for sure frowned on to be any of the letters in the acronym. I was a girl with a fiery temper and tomboy tendencies.

I started questioning in high school. I was harassed mercilessly by a girl called Joan after filling in some dumb survey she passed around around in chorus class. My answer to “Would you ever get kinky?” was apparently an admission of lesbianism. I am not sure why she hated me for that, but she did. And I started questioning my sexuality.

But I didn’t do much except explore the possibilities for a few years. None of them fit quite right and I just dropped the idea.

Finally, decades later thanks to increased awareness of all the different colors of flags and the groups they represent, I know I am definitely queer.

With so many groups (and they are not all represented above), how could anyone not be a little bit queer? Despite all those choices, I am not sure which flags suit me best. Genderqueer? Demigirl? Ace? I am still questioning.

So I have designed a new flag for myself and people like me who are trying to figure it out, or know they are queer but don’t fit solidly into any of the established groups. I know there are some existing Questioning designs with big question marks on them, but the designer in me feels they lack depth of meaning.

This design is packed with symbolism.

Purple represents mystery and creativity. Who am I and what can I do with this knowledge?
White is a clear space to explore & exist. No judgement; anything is possible.
There’s a Q, of course.
Also an abstract question mark, in case Q isn’t enough.
And an exclamation point for emphasis and pride. Here we are, even though we aren’t certain what our label is!
Abstract human figures symbolise our kindred spirits. Are they holding hands? Are they dancing?
There’s a six radial rotation because six is a perfect number.
Triangles have a double significance: mind-body-spirit; and past-present-future. (Also knowledge of trivia)
There’s a void in the center for all of the unknown.
And it’s a mandala, which adds all the meaning of cycles and continuation.