I am sort of disappointed in my life at the moment. I haven’t fulfilled my potential; I keep delaying my ideas until I can realise them fully. But at 56, time is running short for grand plans and I feel a slight sense of urgency to act on my dreams. Maybe I can do something smaller now that is just as satisfying, if not as spectacular.
For example, I keep putting off my theatre dreams. I would like to follow in the tradition of my family and produce some shows. But I don’t have a space yet and I don’t know who might be interested in English-language theatre out here in the countryside. Well, why does that stop me? Why don’t I organise table readings with a few friends? A small step is way better than nothing and it builds the community of people who might want to participate in a staged production later.
Another example of delay and disappointment is the sculpture I want to build for the fish cistern. It’s a gorgeous thing in my mind: enameled metal lotus leaves mounted on a pole so that they can rotate to provide shade for the fish and plants. To execute my design I need to learn to weld and that is going to take a lot of time and practice. Perhaps I can build a working prototype from wood until I get the skills I need to do it in metal. A smaller step, more accessible. Not the grand final product, but better than nothing at all.
But this is not a post about theatre or sculpture. It’s about making the small step with a bottle of wine.
One of the other things I dream of doing at 555 is hosting cocktail parties. Putting on little evening soirees on the viewing deck I will build someday, or on the patio that I will create near the barn, or in the house itself. None of those exist yet. But I do have wine and some rocks to sit on.
So I invited Naomi over to 555 for wine at sunset last night. And it was lovely. We sat on the stone chairs, nibbled pretzels from an antique glass bowl, drank pink wine from amber glasses, and enjoyed the darkening sky.
By the time we finished the bottle and our conversation, the stars had come out and we were tipsy. Naomi wisely opted not to drive home so we walked together to Monaca and then I ambled the rest of the way down the hill.
So cheers to living life and chasing experiences. The bigger ones will come, but they are few and far between. There’s a sunset every day.
