Annual Xmas Rant

I cannot easily express how much Christmas irritates me.
I enjoy giving. I like fruitcake. The scent of evergreen boughs and bayberry candles is delightful. Choirs singing traditional and religious carols please me.
But I despise shopping. I don’t like the expectations, the pressure, the greed. It turns me cold. However, like rubbernecking at a traffic accident, I’m compelled to examine the depths to which consumers are sinking this year. Here’s what I’ve found:
Target.com has gift ideas for your Hairdresser. Marcasite earrings; that’s what every hairdresser wants. Or for Teacher, some “dessert excuse” plates with cute drawings of cakes and phrases like “just a sliver, please.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong. If you feel generous this season, give your hairdresser an extra-big tip and your teacher a gift certificate for books or school supplies.
Maybe I’m just utterly unsentimental, but don’t you think you could do better for your mother than a personalised “#1 Mom” picture frame from Wal-Mart? Surely mom has some personal interests beyond the circumstance of motherhood.
What about Dad? Pretty much every web-based shopping guide thinks dad wants an MP3 player this year. Tod suggests a bottle of booze instead.
The “Teens and Tweens” on your shopping list may be a bit of a challenge, but I was shocked (and you know that’s not easy to do) by Christmas-Guide.com’s suggestion of ammo as an “outdoorsy” gift for teens. Nothing says Christmas like a stocking full of hollow point cartridges.
Enough. I will turn away from this accident that is “the holiday season” and focus on the way ahead: a new year, a new leaf and all that malarky.